maybe i'm confuse. there's a part of me that don't like to see him again, but there's still that wanting inside. i want to see him again for me to say sorry...for the hang-ups, frustrations, false hopes i unconsciously or maybe consciously gave to him. it's not that i don't have any feeling towards him at all. true, i feel something for him, and i know what i feel is for us to be just friends...like we use to be. good friends and nothing more..or less.

if i could just make it up for him...there's that guilty feeling inside, of course. but if i would fall in love, i don't want it to be 'forced'. it is a shame of loving someone just because guilt or necessity because he/she loves you. i don't think it's good.

if only i could tell my self who to like. funny, i would always fall for somebody whom i hardly know his full name. i mean, i prefer to like somebody i know nothing about rather than those who i am sure of. sigh. why is it like this?

right now i do't have somebody to call 'mine'. but it's ok. i got my family and friends. i can get along with that, for now, tomorrow, or even forever...