Last Sunday was Mother's Day. I did not send any cards or e-cards to my mom. I was planning something: I'd give her a call. This is something I do not do so I know she will be surprise. But as I was thinking, maybe she will not be surprise after all; she will be in shock. She might take my call as an emergency and go panic. I know my mother.

However, I was determine to make the call.

Mother's Day date was the same as the date of the medical mission in Bataan. So I bought my phone load the day before the mission. I'm not sure if there are any load outlet nearby where we would hold the mission.

I made the call lunch time. Unfortunately, it was a Saturday in Chicago that time and I know my mother turns off both of her cellphones. She doesn't want any distraction over the weekends. Just my luck. I leave a message through voice mail, hoping my mother know how to retrieve message via voice mail (she has her Blackberry months ago and until now, she's still exploring it).

And since it was Mother's Day, I see to it I greet the mothers I was attending to in the mission. A simple greeting won't hurt.

After three hours and a half after the mission, I was home. Two hours later, I woke up, found myself watching TV again.

I catch the Mel & Joey show on GMA. Before the show ends, they mentioned a proverb: "A mother understands what the child does not say."

I opppose.

As far as I am concern, this is not necessarily true. Honestly, I find it hard to connect with my mother at times, especially whenever her mother's instinct is on the prowl. Mothers, or parents alike, tend to jump into hasty conclusions, conclusions that they themselves create whenever they do not seem to understand their own child. I think they feel some 'air of supremacy' that no matter what, they perfectly understand their child just because he/she is his/her child. A simple reasoning like that can lead into a bunch of rebellious kids that only demand a listening parent/s.

Tatay: Saan ka na naman galing?! At bakit ganyan ang hitsura mo?!? Gusto mo bang masunturon?? Sumagot ka! Malilintikan ka sa akin!
Anak: Eh kasi Itay...
Tatay: Aba! At sumasagot ka na!
Anak: O_o

I am always entertained by this parent-and-child monologue, er, i mean dialogue. I think it's typical in a Filipino family. I experienced this one a number of times, really. If you find it hilarious, there's a chance you have experienced it, in one way or another.

In my opinion what causes this miscommunication between a parent and a child is that parents tend to forget they were a son/daughter just as their son/daughter. They forget the same struggles they had when they are young. We can never blame them. Experience taught them well, so well that sometimes they are forced to forget the younger years in which they are more helpless and less useful.

Sometimes, they tend to over react to things that can be considered as a light matter by their children. Parents, by nature are possessive of their kids, always worrying and always think their kid/s might make a wrong decision. Wrong decision that they too have done. They are afraid in the saying "History repeats itself".

Parents, the good news is: Your child is not as stupid as you think they are.

We, kids, may make a lot of mistakes. But from these mistakes, we learn just as you did.

It is easy to give attention to a child. What is hard to give is a time to listen. What I mean by listening is mouth close, both ears open, mind open, and wait until the kid is finish talking. Then no comments based on "mother's instinct"; give a comment or suggestion like you would give to a friend. A child has the right to be treated with dignity.

Maybe because I am not a parent that's why I talk about this stuff in a very daughter point of view. That's because I am one. I am a daughter in every manner, uniquely rebellious in a way. Years from now (and I hope it would really be YEARS), I will be a mother with a child of my own. This blog will be a reminder for myself. Because no matter what, people tend to forget things.

I called her again late that night. She finally answered. I have so many things I wanted to tell her because it's Mother's Day. Instead, for that full five minutes, I let her do the talking. After all, it was Mother's Day.

Labels: mother's day